sometimes i sit down to write with no thought on what this post will be: i just know i need to write. it's a sort of hunger, or a combination of hunger and the feeling of needing to journal but not willing to wait for the inspiration to hit. i received a wonderful e-mail from a close friend of mine, someone whose opinions and thoughts inspire me to think deeper, more creatively- whether she's improvising song lyrics on the spot or writing about a philosophical aspect of our lives, her words and thoughts definitely ignite a creative spark in myself- and i love people like that (i will write back to your e-mail, i promise!!). isn't it great to meet someone who reminds you of a part of your personality that you forgot about? i think we all play a kind of role when we're around most (actually, all) people. and day-to-day i play my role, but when i'm reminded of another aspect of myself i really value the people who are able to bring it out.
that seems vague. but you know that friend-of-a-friend that you click with? you end up telling them far more than you should, sharing a part of yourself that you don't share with your friend... or that person in your networking group that brings out a different sense of humor in yourself. i love that feeling- it's like being refreshed, a big clean shower and a 'i forgot what this feeling was like. it's cool. not everyday cool, but pretty cool, nonetheless.'
this weekend was a bit of a rough one-- lots of little arguments, some big arguments from both husband and i and our friends. luckily, all husband and i argued over was having a cookout at our house on sunday (we tend to get angry about little things. but then cool off because i think we both realize that when you live together/are married, there's really nothing you can do to escape the other person. in other words, they will still be there later that afternoon, the next day, and the next day. so, really, why are you fighting over potato salad? it's made us much more mature, i promise). anyway, this weekend was rough because i was reminded of college relationships all over again. it wasn't unusual for all of us (friends, acquaintances, us) to be fighting, angry with each other, to feed off each other's pissed-off-ness and just escalate everything. we went to a wedding where tensions somehow got very high, and it ended with us just being exhausted and driving home at midnight. now, i miss college, and i'm the first one to recognize that it was an amazing time of irresponsibility and f-ed up priorities (for example: i would get very stressed about classes, and then end up skipping them in favor of naps. -- a word on naps-- seriously? what was wrong with me that i felt it was ok as an adult to be upset if i didn't get a nap in at least once every two days??). however, for as amazing as college was, i was reminded tonight that sometimes its not fun to stand outside, sort-of drunk and discuss someone else's relationship. or to be irrationally mad at your boyfriend (or husband) because he hadn't brought you a glass of water and a salad. amazing, really. college was lots of fun, but i like being a little more mature about how i relate to my friends and boyfriend/husband.
this blog entry isn't very full of outstanding wisdom or witty thoughts... my apologies. to be honest, i'm a little distracted because i've had a glass of wine, and husband is flipping between football (gotta see how braylon is doing) and rob & big- occasionally offering commentary on rob's antics and encouraging shouts towards braylon. so... that's it for tonight. maybe i'll have some deep, philosophical thoughts for all later this week. :)
"it doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. i want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy"
(my favorite- albeit unusual- passage from the reading at my wedding).
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