holiday cheer

whew. it's been one long weekend, and yet passed by so quickly. i feel guilty that i haven't written in awhile, and don't have much in particular to say (cue the back button on your browser now?). we're just moving forward with life... work weeks seem to roll up and then retreat, sort of like the tides. the only difference this past week was that i felt even more disconnected to my home, my husband. it's tough to balance particularly busy weeks and consuming work with life. that's why it's now 9pm on a sunday and husband is at the grocery store while i'm listening to the clothes clank around in the dryer. however, i'm thrilled that this week will be a short one-- we're preparing for the holidays over here so i'm taking off a day this week, which will be nice. naturally, i've waited until the last minute and still haven't bought a tablecloth or napkins or put together my cute candleholders for the centerpiece. so i'm pretty positive that day off that i envision as a relaxing day cooking and baking with mom will probably contain about 3 trips to the grocery store, 2 trips to michael's craft store, and probably a circle between pier 1, pottery barn, and jc penny for linens. oh well, i think i probably work best under pressure, anyway.

i'm looking forward for a break for some family time. maybe this weekend was just intense because of the big football game, but i am excited for a friday/saturday that isn't filled with beer at the local high-school-reunion bar. i need a good date night, i think. a date night with wine and romance, not beer and burping. (sick. but really there's been too much of that going on lately). i'm a fan of football season (by default. but if i didn't like it then i would hate my job, and i can't hate my job), don't get me wrong, but the fact that i know the beer specials on wednesday nights at more than 4 bars is disgusting.

it may be worth mentioning that we stopped in a random bar on friday night only to be confronted with guys from the past- boys who went to my high school (technically they went to my kindergarten, grade school, middle school, and high school, but who's counting?), and who decided my junior year of high school that they hated my boyfriend. weird, considering none of them bothered to date anyone outside of their group (rumors flew multiple times about the STDs that passed around like a cold), much less pay any attention to me. i know people say that all the time- but i really don't think they cared much for anyone else aside from the same girls (fatter now) that they hung around with then. i would occasionally see them at parties in high school, but we pretty much stuck to our own crowds. anyway-- for some reason they took a disliking to my boyfriend because he was with me. and turns out, they all still hate that same boyfriend. it was amazing. and annoying at the same time. i barely said two words to them, and tried to calm husband down who was fuming about a boy who grabbed his michigan hat. said boy also wandered up to me, wasted and almost incoherent to ask which company i work for. he then proceeded to ask if i've received his resume (twice he sent it to me). then he grabbed husband's hat and asked if i knew "this kid." now, i'm all for recommending people, even if we weren't friends, if i feel someone would be a great candidate for a job. but i wouldn't consider giving this kid an unpaid internship, considering that since 8th grade i've only known him as an incoherent drunk who was mostly stoned throughout his teen years. from the looks of things, nothing much has changed.

so- moving forward. i think it's time for a nice dinner, some oysters, and a martini or two to clear the air. some place with no tv's would be fabulous. quick post, i know- but i'm going to go switch the laundry out and continue looking up recipes for some holiday cranberry sauce... it's almost time for the holidays, and i can't wait for some holiday cheer... :)

tell me what you're looking for...

the first thing anyone says when they hear i like to write is what's your favorite author? and that's probably one of the top 5 questions i hate the most (next one being the infamous dinner party question). so- who is my favorite author? i don't know, sometimes it's john steinbeck, jack kerouac, sometimes it's cs lewis, and sometimes its the graffiti on the wall. sometimes its stephanie myers, other times its ancient writers. god- who i love to read depends so much on who i am at that moment. the one concept i tried to convey to my students over and over again is that writing and reading is a two way conversation. the author makes meaning, and the reader makes meaning. all based on your own experiences, and usually that meaning changes, based on those experiences. therefore- who i am as a writer has as much to do with me as it does with you- reading these words, following the patterns of my speech, agreeing, disagreeing, constantly making evaluations, comparing and contrasting from your own perspective(s).

when i answer the question with a nervous laugh and vacillate between authors of different contexts and time periods, the person then tries to save me and asks what i'm reading right now. i don't know what i'm reading right now. i just picked up new moon to read some of that before bed. before that i read glamour magazine, and before that i was reading french women don't get fat. do those sound like the literary choices of someone who loves to read and write? probably not. i was never into those english majors who thought they could go about a room, spouting off on how much they love updike or faulkner, or even sedaris. sure- i like all of those authors. but i like them all at different times... when i like to read for me, and when i like to get lost in a book, i prefer to turn to my tried-and-true 'a time for dancing,' a novel i first read when i was about 14 years old, a novel that still makes me cry at the end, and still makes me blush when i read the f-word in print. it's like that go-to sweater we all have... it's my go-to book.

i don't want to sound all anti-literary-snob, because i truly was afraid to read the twilight series. i spent my time in school deciphering chaucer's love poetry and george eliot's limonal characters in cross-cultural diasporas. i analyzed short fiction- just how does flannery o'connor show grace through violence? and 20th century plays... oh, i've read. and i enjoy challenging myself. but when you're home and you want to just read to read- do you pick up some jack kerouac and try to follow endless sentences and stream-of-consciousness writing? maybe for an hour, until your eyes cross and your head starts pounding.

i think sometimes we get too caught up in the confines of society that we tend to step into the role. so, when someone asks my favorite author- sometimes i say steinbeck (the safe choice), other times i say i like victorian literature (the literary choice. plus, i did study it the most in school), and yet sometimes i want to scream. would you ask a musician what their favorite song is? probably. and they probably think- geez, lady- i guess i like them all. i like this song when i'm crying, this one when i'm buzzed, and this one when i'm thinking. and that's just on tuesday!

hmm... anyway. i'm on my way to bed soon... and i must give a little public thanks to my mother- who came over today while i was at work and cleaned and tidied and just in general got my house in line. plus, she brought me presents since i have a nervous breakdown every morning before work (i have nothing to wear. ever). i think i've said it before on here- but if i haven't- she is the reason we (husband and i) are both happy to be living here. husband told me that he has to call her to thank her for coming over and picking up my crap. hah. he then asked where his presents were... silly husband! i just discovered that the holidays are going to be even more special. in addition to it being the first Christmas we've ever spent together (ever. in 7 years of dating!!), my family is staying home from florida this year... which means that we will get to spend Christmas with both of our families and each other. i don't think words could ever express how much this means to me. the holidays are magical and romantic to me- i would give up valentine's day in a heartbeat if i could spend every Christmas with the people i love... it is truly the most romantic and love-filled time for me, and the chance to spend it with those i love (all of those i love) is just incredible. plus, we're having a new years party!! that's right- i've finally convinced the husband to throw a party with me. i'm pretty excited about it- and have already started the process of printing invitations. so- that's life right now. a rant about authors and a little note of the love-filled holidays. cheers- and happy holidays...