health, wealth, and happiness

... blog title just had to be used from a favorite movie of mine, in honor of brittany murphy.

anyway, i mentioned in my last post about how i got sick last week... and they (meaning the ER doctors) aren't sure if it was a virus- a crazy, fast-hitting stomach flu, or if it was food poisoning. regardless, being that sick made me want to consider rethinking the way i treat my body, what i consume, what air i breathe, and just how healthy of a lifestyle i really should be living. for as long as i can remember, i have been extremely compassionate towards animals. i'm sure i'm not different than most kids- but i would frequently allow stray cats in our house (when dad wasn't home, since he was allergic) and once kept one in our garage, its bed of rags hidden from view, and a little dish of milk and american cheese kept it purring throughout the cold winter months. anyway- i have always (always- ever since i can remember) hated fur and hated skins... and i believe i could probably be a vegetarian if i thought about it enough. sometimes i don't eat things that look too much like the animal it actually is. that doesn't include the thanksgiving turkey- i felt a moment of guilt but then participated in prying open the turkey butt and then (once it was cooked), peeling off its skin to eat it. - that sounds so vulgar, doesn't it?

beyond my little side feelings of guilt- which are almost always pushed to the side when i see a hamburger coming my way- are the concepts of the unsanitary living conditions, slaughterhouses, and hormones that all contribute to the raising and processing of said hamburger. i believe it isn't healthy to treat a living creature in that way (think about it. some people have more compassion for a tree than an animal), and i especially don't think its healthy to participate in the purchasing or consuming of that product.

husband and i often will buy organic, a choice we make for probably different reasons, but one that we feel good about. we buy almost all of our meat organic, as well as eggs, milk, and some vegetables. but to me, that's not enough. i still eat out often- and i still get processed, hormone-filled chicken (is it really chicken?) mashed down on a griddle and thrown together with some teriyaki sauce at the food court for lunch. while i enjoy food, and i like to cook, when thinking about ways to live a healthier lifestyle, i'm realizing that the products i choose to put in my body are not the best.

now, i do think i eat pretty damn well for the most part... in my defense, i feel a twinge of guilt if i have more than 1.5 mint milano cookies in one day, and i try to only drink water (and wine- hah) at home. but, as far as being careful about the impact of the choices i make when choosing what (and where) to eat, I could definitely improve.

beyond my eating habits, I want to improve my sleep, up my water intake, drink tea instead of coffee, and continue a workout regimen at overload fitness. the last one is the hardest for me... but i feel better when i'm fit- and one of the hardest transitions for me is learning to feel as though i'm accomplishing something while lifting weights. i used to live for the rush i felt after landing a new trick or the 'zone' i would get into while tumbling. the feeling of pushing aside your fears and doubts and insecurities and trusting yourself, all while flipping through the air. the feeling of strength and adrenaline i would get towards the end of tumbling practice- legs shaking but still throwing powerful back tucks. feeling as though i accomplish something while pushing against a machine? not so much. i'm starting to get there, though- with overload, the concept is to never "unload" from a machine- your muscles are under CONSTANT stress, and you maintain perfect posture and breathing throughout the super slow workout. it hurts like hell, and it's a series of mind over matter moments to get through it. the last workout i did left me unable to tip a glass of water to my lips, my arms were burning so badly, my eyes filling with tears over the intensity of it. it's a different feeling of accomplishment, but it's coming back, slowly.

i hope to continue a workout regimen that makes me stronger- reverses the effects of my early on-set bone loss, and provides relief for the nerve disease. and looking great in a bikini would be an excellent plus.

those are my new years resolutions- which sounds like an oxymoron. resolution has this connotation of an end- and those resolutions are more like beginnings for me. but whatever. cheers to 2010... and raise your (red- antioxident wine) if you will... health, wealth, and happiness!

saturday morning errands

7:43 on a Saturday! I should be grabbing a few extra minutes of sleep but by the time i do that it will be time to get up and start my day. I have a jam-packed day today, with lofty expectations. first, i hope to make it to a gas station before running out of gas. secondly, i hope to get all of our christmas shopping done today. husband is a BAD influence on me when it comes to getting things done early. he had some reasoning behind not shopping until now, something about our american express bill not coming until january? hm. not sure but right now i'm panicked. we should have made lists about what we hoped to get everyone and what the cost is... yet i'm stuck thinking of things last minute. i'm also not the best when it comes to thoughtful gifts. i try, but since i do things so last minute, it feels like it's not as thoughtful as it could have been. i have ideas for certain people, but nothing set in stone...

husband's gifts were all done last month on random shopping trips with my mom. he's easy to shop for in the sense that i usually just buy him clothes i hope he wears someday (ONE day), but he's so non-materialistic that it's tough to get him something he wants more than anything (besides a ps3. because i'm not paying $300 for a video game thing- not like we could afford that anyway, but you know). my mom says i'm clearly the easiest to shop for- and it's because i like things. and i want things. i have a normal wishlist i'm hoping for: a new winter coat, a new, cozy bathrobe, clothes for work, etc. i have my "i die" wishlist: a puppy, diamond earrings, a new car. and i have my "would be nice" wishlist: decorating stuff for my home, random tops/sweaters/jewelry, spa gift certificates, etc, etc. i just love things. so, i really am the easiest to shop for. if others (mom, dad, sister, husband) were as materialistic it would be so simple to get them something off their 200-item wishlist at any given time.

anyway, big plans for today include getting my hair done, a trip to the dmv, christmas shopping, and possibly watching my college alma mater face off in their bowl game. pretty standard. now i should probably go get ready so i have time to get gas and stop by the bank before the dmv. whew. wish me luck!

one month later...

almost a month ago, i wrote my last update. i really, really need to work on disciplining myself to write regularly. i'm not ready to give myself deadlines, because then it would turn into something that would stress me out, but i need to motivate myself to write regularly. i'm so into this phase of "action steps" from work that now i feel like i need action steps for my writing. i need to write regularly for at least a few months. then... what? i should really write some new short stories and send those in for publication, somewhere. the atlantic monthly? i think that's the journal that is impossible to get into... anyway, once i decide what the next steps are (if there are any), i'll let you know via blogging (that i'll be doing regularly).

someone once told me that i write better after a few glasses of wine... and i tend to agree. actually, i think i write better when i have a purpose for my writing. lately there hasn't been much purpose behind my entries. i feel like writing antecdotes on newlywed life- funny little things that only a new husband and wife could do... but sometimes i feel bad because it's always colored in my favor, and husband doesn't love being a character. but, then again, who cares?

a story from thanksgiving, shall we?

our first thanksgiving together... i took a day off work to prepare... we were all ready. but for some reason thanksgiving morning, although i was so prepared to be in the spirit of the holidays, something wasn't clicking. maybe it was because i told him 12 times i wanted to watch the parade and he turned on some cd (surround sound, of course) at the highest possible volume, blaring some heavy rock metal-type music. fine. maybe it was because we couldn't find any tablecloths or napkins at 5 stores the night before and had to resort to going to walmart in the morning. i think i may have been hungover as well, or at least not ready to wake up, by the time we got the turkey. dad brought the turkey over early (mom had bought it fresh and kept it in their spare fridge for us). husband tried to escape before the turkey came and go to walmart for table linens. long story short, i ended up in tears before we even attempted to get the crap out of our turkey's butt (which, incidentally, had frozen in the spare fridge, so we had to ice-chip out the bag of organs and other gross body parts).

so... finally, turkey is in the oven, and we went to walmart for the linens. husband assembled candleholders while watching the game, and i peeled potatoes. throughout the day, i wonder aloud that the house didn't exactly smell like an 18 lb. turkey was roasting in the oven. husband proceeded to tell me that he couldn't smell anything beyond the cinnamon broom i bought recently at the organic food store (it is a little strong). 3.5 hours into the cooking of the turkey, i finally opened the oven to discover that when (no names please...) _______ put it in the oven and set the timer, it was only set for preheat. huh. we "cooked" the turkey in an oven that had managed to cool down to room temperature in 3.5 hours and now had no thanksgiving meal.

panic ensued. (i first screamed). husband is asking me if random restaurant/buffet places sell roasted (cooked) turkeys. phone calls were made to my family, the guests of the dinner, and i ended up crying in probably every room of our house, while simultaneously hyperventilating and discussing the highest of expectations for our first holiday meal (and first dinner party, really). finally, it turned out alright. the oven was turned on, family assured that dinner was now at 7 instead of 3, and we were able to make an early trip to the in-laws instead of a late trip over. (of course we lied to everyone there and said we meant to have dinner later). ahhh... the holidays.


someone told me today that i have a pretty nice life with my husband and our little home. and i had to agree. husband is a life-saver (especially recently when i was sick and had to go to the ER... i'll spare you the details, but it involved puking an average of every 10 minutes for 4 straight hours. poor husband spent the entire night either cleaning up after me or sitting in a plastic chair with no arms at the ER while i dozed in and out of a morphine-induced sleep)... and we are also best friends. but, beyond that (and more along the lines of what that person was talking about today), we don't worry about the things that a lot of people dating around worry about. i'm always amazed at the dating world now... it seems to be broken up into the people who want to find "the one" -- those who could use eharmony or something, those who like dates involving dinner and wine and movies, and those who aren't interested in dating but who have some loose strings that occasionally trip them up... an ex from college, or a guy they've been talking to... but for one reason or another they aren't ready to commit. it seems stressful and hard to be a girl who is approachable to guys but not ready to go home with the first guy to come up to her in a bar.

anyway, i'm glad to not have to deal with those stresses, to be comfortable with him and us and not involve any other people. in a world where it's an oddity to stay together, i'm finding more and more that i like beating the odds.

.... this post is going nowhere fast. someone want to send a cure for writer's block? i'm going to just start writing more often... they may be pointless, but i'll get somewhere eventually with these blog posts.