tell me what you're looking for...

the first thing anyone says when they hear i like to write is what's your favorite author? and that's probably one of the top 5 questions i hate the most (next one being the infamous dinner party question). so- who is my favorite author? i don't know, sometimes it's john steinbeck, jack kerouac, sometimes it's cs lewis, and sometimes its the graffiti on the wall. sometimes its stephanie myers, other times its ancient writers. god- who i love to read depends so much on who i am at that moment. the one concept i tried to convey to my students over and over again is that writing and reading is a two way conversation. the author makes meaning, and the reader makes meaning. all based on your own experiences, and usually that meaning changes, based on those experiences. therefore- who i am as a writer has as much to do with me as it does with you- reading these words, following the patterns of my speech, agreeing, disagreeing, constantly making evaluations, comparing and contrasting from your own perspective(s).

when i answer the question with a nervous laugh and vacillate between authors of different contexts and time periods, the person then tries to save me and asks what i'm reading right now. i don't know what i'm reading right now. i just picked up new moon to read some of that before bed. before that i read glamour magazine, and before that i was reading french women don't get fat. do those sound like the literary choices of someone who loves to read and write? probably not. i was never into those english majors who thought they could go about a room, spouting off on how much they love updike or faulkner, or even sedaris. sure- i like all of those authors. but i like them all at different times... when i like to read for me, and when i like to get lost in a book, i prefer to turn to my tried-and-true 'a time for dancing,' a novel i first read when i was about 14 years old, a novel that still makes me cry at the end, and still makes me blush when i read the f-word in print. it's like that go-to sweater we all have... it's my go-to book.

i don't want to sound all anti-literary-snob, because i truly was afraid to read the twilight series. i spent my time in school deciphering chaucer's love poetry and george eliot's limonal characters in cross-cultural diasporas. i analyzed short fiction- just how does flannery o'connor show grace through violence? and 20th century plays... oh, i've read. and i enjoy challenging myself. but when you're home and you want to just read to read- do you pick up some jack kerouac and try to follow endless sentences and stream-of-consciousness writing? maybe for an hour, until your eyes cross and your head starts pounding.

i think sometimes we get too caught up in the confines of society that we tend to step into the role. so, when someone asks my favorite author- sometimes i say steinbeck (the safe choice), other times i say i like victorian literature (the literary choice. plus, i did study it the most in school), and yet sometimes i want to scream. would you ask a musician what their favorite song is? probably. and they probably think- geez, lady- i guess i like them all. i like this song when i'm crying, this one when i'm buzzed, and this one when i'm thinking. and that's just on tuesday!

hmm... anyway. i'm on my way to bed soon... and i must give a little public thanks to my mother- who came over today while i was at work and cleaned and tidied and just in general got my house in line. plus, she brought me presents since i have a nervous breakdown every morning before work (i have nothing to wear. ever). i think i've said it before on here- but if i haven't- she is the reason we (husband and i) are both happy to be living here. husband told me that he has to call her to thank her for coming over and picking up my crap. hah. he then asked where his presents were... silly husband! i just discovered that the holidays are going to be even more special. in addition to it being the first Christmas we've ever spent together (ever. in 7 years of dating!!), my family is staying home from florida this year... which means that we will get to spend Christmas with both of our families and each other. i don't think words could ever express how much this means to me. the holidays are magical and romantic to me- i would give up valentine's day in a heartbeat if i could spend every Christmas with the people i love... it is truly the most romantic and love-filled time for me, and the chance to spend it with those i love (all of those i love) is just incredible. plus, we're having a new years party!! that's right- i've finally convinced the husband to throw a party with me. i'm pretty excited about it- and have already started the process of printing invitations. so- that's life right now. a rant about authors and a little note of the love-filled holidays. cheers- and happy holidays...